I'm trying so hard, and you don't even notice.

love this.

absolutely love this poem, Perks of being a wallflower <3

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
 he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
 because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
 and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
 and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
 took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
 with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
 and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
 he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
 because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
 and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
 because of its new paint
And the kids told him
 that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
 with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
 when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
 his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
 when he cried for him to do it.

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
 he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
 because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
 and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
 because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
 of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister
 making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
 or even talked
And the girl around the corner
 wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
 but he kissed her anyway
 because that was the thing to do
And at three a.m. he tucked himself into bed
 his father snoring soundly

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
 he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
 and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
 because this time he didn't think
 he could reach the kitchen.

It's me

All I can think about is how much I love you.
Now its all gone
We are over and it's time to move on
Things are changing the world is turning
My life is about to be turned upside down
These tears keep pooling
 My head keeps spinning
My fingers are shaking uncontrollably
The heart I have feels like a million pounds
it hurt and aches
but I know this is for the best
I know you'll finally discover all that you deserve
I swear its not you, its me
I just don't know what to think anymore.

love.

You're gone, again. You left for home. I can't help but feel my breath escape me. Why must I torture myself, with the love I feel inside. With moments like those, we are so close, and yet in reality so far. My love, come back to me, remind me of the days that we didn't care who saw, we just loved each other and no one could stop us. I miss you.

Thoughts

Fear,
the one thing in the world that keeps us all in order
fear of the unknown
or maybe fear of what is sure to be.

Nowadays I am constantly thinking of the scenarios I find myself scared in. School, Work, Driving, etc. Why am I so scared to be different? Why is anyone? Sadly, I am unable to answer that, though I wish I could. I feel like our generation has mass produced people who are all the same, until someone comes along and is different. I want to be different, and I plan on doing just that.

Dead

Another dead.
one less off the earth that could've spread light.
suicide.
the worst kind.
just a woman that worked to hard.
you will be truly missed.
RIP <3

favourite poem a day (I have 2!)

Friday:
Little kiddies lined in a row
they run around
to and fro
speak like angels
they couldn't contain
the excitement they had when cupcakes came!

Sunday:
The water is rushing
It's magical to see
amidst a damp forest
to prom I ask to be
of course  I say yes
and we seal it with a kiss
Margaret Falls I shall forever long to be.

fear

She fits in a perfect little mold,
the crevasses  are overwhelmed
the abundance of grace she carries
the perfection of her shape
she is flawless
oh how I want to be that girl
the girl who has everything right
that never has fault
that stands up
for her rights and love.

But my fear is too absolute.

       I look at Auschwitz and the place of many who died. How did people survive. It scares me, to know that this really did happen. The inhumanity that happened here is beyond my eyes, and this places seems to go on forever. The living conditions deteriorate my heart with sadness, and my eyes swell up in tears as I look at my surroundings. The frigid air I feel around me, is nothing compared to the temperatures these people would have endured and either is the ache I feel in my stomach from hunger. This world is a cruel place.

You

I wish I had to guts to sing in front of a crowd,
I always stop myself because I don't sing very loud,
Though most don't know musical theory and how to sight read.
Seeing you would be all that I need
I wish I will be famous for something, I want to do
I wish I could be famous just for loving you,
I hope you never leave me
or strand me on my own
I hope you stay with me
I'll be the best I can be
Sometimes I feel like I'll never be good enough,
and it makes me want to cry
 but stay with me darling and trust me, I will try.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaT7DaqPbxs

Sometimes we feel like we can never get anything right, like our lives are spiraling out of control. I find that I am always reminding myself when I am upset that sometimes I need to let fate happen all on its own.

"You do not become what you want, you become what you believe.”
-Oprah Winfrey

Lost

Have you ever felt so utterly lost, that you feel the world has moved on without you? 
I have, it stings to think the people you thought cared the most about you, end up just like everyone else you know. It stings to think that people you just met; care more about you than the peope you thought should.

Favourite Quote:

There's always going to be that person you think is better looking, funnier, sweeter, and generally you view them as more perfect; but have you ever realized that you're probably that person to someone else?